I Used Synastry Astrology to Find My Best Match

As an astrologer, synastry is a deal breaker in romance.

After I find out a person’s Sun sign, I usually like to check out their ascendant — or rising sign— and Moon sign. When I compare our charts, it can foretell a lot about that person and how we’ll relate to each other.

In some cases, I have not done my due diligence as an astrologer on the dating scene and suffered the ramifications. I rely on synastry astrology to determine the chances of a potential romance with a person based on our charts. 

According to Narayana Montúfar, author of Written in Your Stars: Use Your Saturn Return, Pluto Square, and Other Planetary Cycles to Become Your Best Self, ”The art of synastry compares how the planets within two birth charts interact with one another, depicting the quality of the relationship.”

“This fascinating technique goes way beyond compatibility — goes as far as telling what two people have in common, what brings them together, and [whether] there is long-term potential within their relationship,” Montúfar says, adding that synastry compares how the planets in someone’s chart interact with the planets in another’s.

Trust me, synastry can revolutionize relationships. If you’re looking to use it in your own relationship, here are the top synastry aspects to look out for.

Sun and Moon conjunctions can indicate soulmate energy

The Sun is the ego, and the moon is our sentiments. Together, these planets depict a beautiful partnership that has emotional stability. The Sun person expresses what the moon person feels, creating a bond that won’t disappear quickly.

I’ve yearned for this with another person and I found it with someone years ago. While I wasn’t ready to commit, they understood me on a soulful and intuitive level (I was the moon, and they were the Sun). We still chat to check in every so often.

Sun and Venus create withstanding friendships

Things can get messy with this aspect because Venus and the Sun can get competitive. But if you forgo the drama, it’ll be divine.

My best friend since I was three and I have this placement together. Our friendship has been testy at times. But overall, we remain close and have common interests and pals.

In my dating life, I’ve been instantly drawn to the people I share this cosmic alliance with. We were each other’s types — physically and mentally. When the romance deepened, they couldn’t get behind my dreams, which was a dealbreaker. 

Venus and Mars are ‘hot to go!’

Montúfar said that “comparing how Venus and Mars interact is crucial as these two planets are considered ‘relationship planets,’ with Venus ruling love and Mars ruling sex. The two planets — known as the cosmic lovers — also interact with other planets, shedding light on the dynamic between two people.”

Well, this is real. However, it didn’t bring long-term stability to my own relationship. There were major friends with benefit vibes. But the connection was electric. In fact, 99.9 percent of people swear by this aspect. I’m the 0.1 percent who it fizzled out with.

I guess I’m an astrological anomaly. But to be fair, my natal Venus is retrograde, so I’m sure that didn’t help matters.

Venus and the Ascendant draw each other out of their shell 

This is one of my top favorite aspects. It’s giving compassion and TLC. In my experience, there were good vibes between my partner and I. Indulgence and desire reigned high. The caveat is that Venus can bring out jealousy, which it did in this instance. There was a lot of projection on the Venus person’s part onto me, and it eventually fizzled out, even though I desperately wanted to be a part of their charmed life.

Venus and Moon make the vibe comfy 

When these planets come together, it shows that a couple has many shared interests and similar aesthetic tastes. Some examples would include sharing the same taste in food, similar memories from childhood and having the same taste in movies.

I adore these aspects and symmetry because they show these two people can grow and have a harmonious relationship based on their parallels. I spent two years with a person with whom I had a Venus-moon conjunction. They were lovely. We grew up not too far from each other in the same period and would watch Clueless and other films we loved.

Jupiter and Moon = domestic bliss

Jupiter is an expensive planet, so when it meets up with someone else’s moon — which rules domesticity and emotions — it solidifies relationships, mainly regarding marriage.

Although I’m not married yet, I’ve lived with a significant other with whom I shared a Jupiter-moon conjunction. We both took care of our dwelling through cleaning, cooking or gardening together.

Ascendant and Mars lead to passion 

Typically, this denotes a sensual attraction that bonds people together with their prowess. I’ve had this astrological aspect with many Virgo risings (my Mars is in Virgo), and it has led to a playful chase that leads to an intense affiliation. Yes, this is accurate not only for me, but for the majority of my clients. 

Don’t hate on Saturn in synastry

Did you know that Saturn is the glue that holds two charts together? A lot of people hate on Saturn because it is an austere planet that teaches us about responsibility and limits. Saturn is also the planet of commitment, which is why it is extremely important in synastry to see if two charts have the ability to stand the test of time. Yes, Montúfar agrees and stated, “Without positive Saturn connections, a relationship is not meant to last, as Saturn is the glue that keeps two people together.” 

95 percent of the people I’ve dated and am friends with share Saturnian aspects with me. My favorite aspects are Saturn conjunct Venus and the moon because when you see Saturn and Venus together, it notes that this is a loyal couple that will never dishonor the other. When Saturn aspects another person’s Moon, it indicates that they can have a secure foundation and home life. In these cases, I found that it’s actually true and most of my relationships had that.

I’ve previously dated someone whose Saturn was conjunct with my Sun sign and let’s just say that I felt very overpowered by the relationship and unable to break free. However, I was eventually able to call it quits since Saturn gives you the ability to know when enough is enough.

So, which synastry aspects don’t work?

The only two aspects I’ve seen that never work out are Saturn and Nodal’s opposition. If your Saturn opposes another person’s Saturn, then issues of dominance and control come out. The Nodal opposition — which occurs when your North Node is in the opposite sign of the other person’s North Node — shows that although the relationship is karmic, the timing of the partnership might be off. This indicates two souls passing ships in the middle of the night. It’s a rarity for this to have staying power.

I dated people with whom I’ve shared a Nodal opposition. The vibes were initially awkward because this proves a past-life connection. It’s hard to accept that energy in real life when meeting them. I became infatuated with them since the alliance was easy to make within a few weeks of texting. Ultimately, it didn’t work out because we wanted different things. Due to the elements of past life, breaking up was difficult for each of us. We couldn’t just walk away and kept coming back to each other until I saw who they were and wasn’t blinded by the Sun and Venus conjunction we shared.